Prophetic Profiles: Profiteering by Procrustean Proclamations

In the run-up to the United States’ 2020 presidential election an explosive array of proclamations, predictions and prophecies inundated the airwaves and overloaded internet platforms. Self-appointed would-be prophets, self-styled soothsayers, and arrogant self-aggrandizing “revelators” had predetermined, by “a word from the[ir] lord” [whoever that might be], that President Trump will have a second term in office.

A YouTube discussion [“Flash Point”, 08 January 2021, two days after the inauguration] demonstrated the utter self-willed stubbornness of this deluded oracular cabal by persisting in their false prophesies and confused, contradictory, and deceiving declarations. One Hank Kunneman explosively declared, “We [the Republicans] will see victory.” As if another delusional comment will make their former false prophecies come true.

By now we know that these “Trump-will-win” prophecies were made by a horde of false prophets. Some of the most celebrated names in televangelism persisted—even after the January 6 inauguration—that “He [Trump] is still going to win” [stated Kunneman]; “God has chosen Pence for 8 years after Trump’s 8 years!” [purred Kat Kerr]; and a bit later: “I have commanded the army of heaven to go all over the earth (to protect Trump).”

The spiky, pink-haired, feisty, overly assertive pythoness have blasphemously assumed the office of “The Lord of Hosts [Armies]” In presuming she has the authority to command the angels to do her vainglorious, narcissistic, abortive bidding.

Kenneth Copeland cackled along with an unoriginal, “Like Kat said, this is His will” [for Trump to be victorious]. Kunneman obsequiously opined again: “Kat has a track record of truth and accuracy.” Unbounded lunacy if ever there was! Surely illustrative of a spiritual abnormality and mental derangement driven by doctrinal delusion?

Now, a month after Biden having taken office and signing about 50 viciously destructive executive orders—sure to set the US economy on a path of devastation—Trump still has not returned to the White House. Seems like Kat will have to hunt some new rats and purr a different tune to restore her “truth and accuracy” reputation.

The depth of the irony totally escaped these vainglorious conceited mob of plotting prophets. They are so totally enwrapped by their fictitious visions and “word from the[ir] lord” that they cannot comprehend that in upholding and reinforcing the false word of one false prophet[ess] by their superficial corroboration that they make themselves doubly false prophets.

These pythonic prophets play spiritual Procrustes, the robber of Greek mythology who sadistically savaged his victims to fit his iron bed by either chopping off their legs or stretching them! He produced conformity by violent and arbitrary means. Equally painfully and heartlessly the spiritual Procrusteans mutilate the words of the Eternal to fit their doctrinal and demon-dreamed "beds".

These fake, profiteering “prophets” will chop off or stretch the truth and do violence in the Name of the Eternal to the Name of the Eternal by savaging the Word to fit their false visions, their demonic dreams, their futile scatological imaginations, and their “word from the LORD”. Their retrofitting, reconstructionist interpretations of scripture to fit their prophetic procrustean beds will heap sorrow upon sorrow and agony upon agony. Both they and their itchy eared sycophantic followers could be destined to experience the wrath of the Eternal! [Rev 14:9-10.]

WHY? Because they prefer their Procrustean proclamations—chopping and stretching scripture at any cost to conform to each other’s imaginary “revelations” and to buttress the general Churchian predictive narratives.

Notice what the Eternal says about such prophets and preachers: “For I testify unto every man that hears the words of the prophecy of this book, If any man shall add unto these things, God shall add unto him the plagues that are written in this book: And if any man shall take away [cut off] from the words of the book of this prophecy, God shall take away his part out of the book of life, and out of the holy city, and from the things which are written in this book” [Rev 22:18-19].

To save face and continue to rake in dishonorable profits from the credulous followers, the equally gullible and deluded prophets will pump out even more incredibly fanciful predictive concoctions because the people love to hear prophecies which suit their own bizarre speculations and self-serving anticipations. Paul alluded to such sheep who love to be sheered by charlatan shepherds.

Paul indicates that these so-called prophets intentionally lie and deceive to gain Churchian acclaim, and a popular following. And a captivated clientele to whom they could sell, at exorbitant prices, literature, CD’s, and Videos.

“For the time will come [and now is!] when they [professing Christians] will not endure sound [true] doctrine; but after their own lusts shall they heap to themselves teachers, having itching ears; And they shall turn away their ears from the truth, and shall be turned unto fables [religious myths]” [2Ti 4:3-4].

For them to turn away their ears from truth and turn unto fables they [Church Boards and members] must have appointed ministers and pastors that will be willing to teach fallacies and fables! Preach “nice” things. Soft sermons. Entertain us with silly jokes and fabulous stories of past holy preachers and their miracles. Tell us how to prosper. Assure us all we are "saved". Don’t mention hell or sin or repentance! Speak of "going to heaven" and propspering on earth! Itchy ears will be happy and pay you handsomely.

These teachers as well as their followers demonstrate a deep aversion to truth, always desirous of hearing some “new truth”, or about fanciful trips to heaven, or ten-foot-tall angelic visitations—inter alia, the Perry Stone devotees; the gullible entertainment-crazed Jesse Duplantis admirers; and the naïve Syd Roth fanatics who all delight in newly generated fables—fabulous out-of-the-world stories, in some cases from drug-induced minds.

The politically active prophets violated their professed Commander-in-Chief, Christ. THIS IS THE TRUE WORD FROM THE LORD: “My kingdom [government, presidency, rulership] is not of this world [society, time, age]: if my kingdom were of this world, then would my servants fight [for me] … but now is my kingdom not from hence” -- therefore my servants will not engage in any worldly war on my behalf. [See John 18:36.]

Christ does not want His servants to be partisan in the politics of this society. Now is not the time for Him to establish His eternal kingdom upon the earth. Besides, He does not need any luxury living, proud, egotistic, loudmouthed, podium-pounding, overfed, stentorian voiced preachers to assist Him in establishing His kingdom on earth before His return!

The false prophets market, like well-honed high-pressure salesmen, the prophetic and spiritual garbage manufactured by devil-directed operatives. The devil and his angels are super active presently to stretch out of proportion to the context and the whole of scripture certain doctrines [grace, predestination, etc.] and cut off—cut out of scripture—truth by which man shall be saved. Interpretation is extruded from human preferences and imagination instead of holy spirit inspired scripture-based exposition and hermeneutics. Humanity is confronted and bombarded with esoteric demonism and illusory theology.

Jeremiah states that prophets operating among the people of God in his time “prophesied in Baal [the monstrously vile idol of the pagans whom they called “the Lord”]; and those prophets caused God’s people to err. “I have seen also in the prophets,” continues Jeremiah, “ … an horrible thing: they commit adultery, and walk in lies: they strengthen also the hands of evildoers, that none doth return from his wickedness [there is no real repentance!]: they are all of them unto me as Sodom, and the inhabitants thereof as Gomorrah” [Jer 23:13-14].

When prophets preach falsely and defy the truth of scripture and Yehovah’s law, they cause the populace to sin. They—both preacher and people—will be held accountable. If preachers do not warn people of the eternal consequences of their sins those people will die because they have sinned—they shall die in their iniquity—and the preacher himself will die in his iniquity or negligence of warning against sin—the breaking of the commandments of the Eternal! This is in your bible - - read it in Ezekiel 3:18-21.

The arrogant confidence with which these false prophets present themselves, and their imaginative stories, serve as mind-numbing opiates. Their deceptive doctrines [“saved by grace alone”, “name it and claim it”, “once saved always saved”, etc.] cause a spiritual inebriation—resulting in people becoming moral drunks, having supped “the wine of [Babylon’s] fornication [demonic doctrines]” [Rev 17:2].

Jer 14:14 "Then the LORD said unto me, 'The prophets prophesy lies in my name: I sent them not, neither have I commanded them, neither spake unto them: they prophesy unto you a false vision and divination, and a thing of nought, and the deceit of their heart'".

Any who presume to be prophets can’t simply have “feelings in their heart” that Yehovah had commissioned them to prophesy. Much less believe they have a message “from the lord” when scripture states the opposite of what they are proclaiming.

A prophet who proclaims a message which teaches disobedience to the Eternal’s laws—for example, break His holy Sabbath; or teach that you could suffer in an ever burning hell-fire for eternity—is a false prophet representing a false religious system.

Retrospectively we may well adapt Jeremiah’s words to apply it somewhat anachronistically: “Therefore hearken not unto the words of the prophets that speak unto you, saying, 'You shall not serve the King of Babylon [Democratic Party]: for they prophesy a lie unto you. For I have not sent them, saith the LORD, yet they prophesy a lie in my name; that I might drive you out, and that ye might perish [die], ye, and the prophets that prophesy unto you'” [Jer 27:14-15].

The authenticity of any prophet rests, not in their assertion, but in their proclamation coming to pass. [See Deuteronomy 13 and 18]. By this rule these prophets have no legitimacy and must be rejected as true representative of Yehovah.

These people—so-called Christians—and their false prophets will suffer the wrath of Satan or the wrath of God because as the prophet, so the people. The true prophets, Isaiah and Jeremiah, portray them as people who despise [abhor, blaspheme, disdain] Yehovah and his Word [Is 30:12; Jer 23:17]. They may read the Bible but will not head the Bible. They are hearers of the law but not doers of the law [Ro 2:13].

Yes, all those prophets who vigorously affirmed a Trump second term, lied. They may have received momentary fame and a few shekels, but they certainly never received a “word from the Lord!” And they and the people who accept their false words will die by the hand of the Eternal—unless they come to repentance, which is as likely as a snowflake travelling around the sun and back, unscathed and unmelted.

The jostling prophets of Churchianity have with increasing arrogance and vigor attempted to spiritually play the Procrustean game. They have stretched scripture out of proportion. They have cut and cast off chunks of truth. Their continued attempts to create eschatological conformity at any cost, will cost them and their admirers dearly. Should they continue with the game of mutual admiration and buddy-buddy prophetic back-slapping, and reciprocal spiritual support, the profits received will not outweigh the eternal loss incurred by their Procrustean proclamations.

[Reviewed 19/06/2022]